Posted in Polaris' Place of Solitude, Prose & Poetry

Goal


Deprived, suppressed, exhausted, wasted

Clinging for ounce of strength being mustered

With this journey I’d lovingly invested

Don’t pull me away, I’m just getting started.

My heart is out of shape and I’m out of place

Frustratingly beating myself, advancing my phase

Strategize, prepare, attack, withdraw, back to board game… the battle is intensed

I believe at the end of this ordeal, these will all make sense.

One day, I will look on my mirror with triumphant smile

My younger self will thank me, each effort had been worthwhile

Before I lay down and ultimately shut my eyes into final sleep

I knew I’ll leave a legacy, significant for my son to keep

Posted in my janhilly, Prose & Poetry

Midnight Thoughts


i can only wish

to be in your arms

not to part ways again

i can only wish..

 

what i can do for now

is close my eyes

and be lost in a pointless dream

to be awaken – one less day to wait

i’ll be home soon.

 

or i can stay awake,

flooded with thoughts

that consume my inner self with unspoken emotions,

fueled by longingness yet to be satisfied,

i can only think… surely, there’ll be better days.

 

i decided to closed my eyes,

darkness invites me in solitude,

a silent sanctuary

my safe haven,

far away from the world.

 

one day, God will allow me to be with you

and once more, create a memory worth looking back

when our hairs turn gray

when our wrinkled, brittled fingers hold together,

and be able to say that our love stood the test of time.

Posted in Prose & Poetry, Reflections

Life is happier


..when shared

With a friend, a spouse perhaps

It’s no fun in solitude

Which harbors pain, insecurities and frustrations

It’s being with someone 

You’ll realize that it’s not how (im)perfect you are that matters,

But on how you make others happy 

Even with just a smile.

Besides, it’s cold and dark in the batcave of your cobwebbed inner self.

Posted in Prose & Poetry, Reflections

Peace


I’m trying to find a small still voice of the Lord

Through my endless petitions and pleas

In the midst of the congregation 

In each challenge and burdens

In every rise and fall of my emotions

Still, a hollow, deafening silence.
Little did i knew that it’s not in the situation i am into, which his voice is audible

For all these times He is speaking so loud!

It’s the issues of my heart

How to discern His voice like a child hearing his parents as they call his name
How fool am I

Been busy murmuring in  prayer

How could I

Fill my empty heart with renewed joy
I rather walk in the beach feeling soft sands underneath my feet in each step, with soft waves rushing to and fro

And reflecting about the meaning of life, of where i came from and where to go

I can conclude like the preacher once said that ‘everything is meaningless!’

I can’t imagine myself thinking deeper than that!
One lesson I learned in the book of ecclesiastes

That we have to love God with all our hearts for it’s a duty of a man (paraphrased)

Such love, not fear or intimidation, but pure love

Keeps me going in this journey called life
I’m not a ‘holier than thou’ person

I’m cool and flexible, don’t get me wrong

Deep inside is a longingness to live

In the beauty of His holiness

…am still searching for His whisper

Posted in Prose & Poetry

Catalyst


A spark

is all i need

to ignite a flame within my heart

reconnects with long-lost brethren

to once again write a song of life… together.

 

A feather pen almost dried of ink

Can write no more

A gentle dip is all it need

to express his emotions exploding within

 

 

(as the author reunites with brethren in Doha, Qatar)

Posted in Prose & Poetry

Touch


When you touch someone’s heart
Allow them to touch yours as well
Feel the trust, the love
You’ll never know how long it’ll last

When today’s encounter be archived into memories
Make sure you’ll be confident to smile whenever you remember

Posted in COTR Zaragoza, Prose & Poetry, Tagalog Posts

Miss Ko Ang COTR Zaragoza


Practice saturday, timing depende sa availability
Sunduan, rendevous sa Purok 2, bitbit ang instruments, nagmamadali
Collaborate, Pasada, palpak, pasada ulit, ayos na, polish pa
Ayos ng monoblock chairs bago umuwi, baka masermunan ni pastora

Kakaba-kaba sa Opening Prayer
Lilingon-lingon sa dumarating na members
Mapapapalakpak ka sa masayang kwentuhan
Binabati ng matamis na ngiti ang kapatiran

Hanapan ng guitar/bass/mic jack
Tapos humuhuni (grounded kasi as usual) matapos isaksak
Test-mic 1 2 3, praise..praise..praise (whoosh!! sabi ni bro Jojo Bobon)
Flash ng projector, typing songs lineup with a haste!

“Handa na ba tayong magpuri sa Panginoon?”
Tanong ng worship leader, “Amen!” palagi ang tugon
Sa indayog ng makalangit na musika, heart-to-heart talk sa Manlilikha
Walang ibang mahalaga, kundi mapapurihan Siya

Maupo na po ang lahat at ihanda ang kaloob
Sapagkat hindi ako sasamba sa Panginoon ng walang handog (2 Samuel 24:24)
Upang pagpalain lahat ng aking gagawin at naisin
At bilang parangal sa paggabay Niya sa akin

Hinahayag ng pastor ang mensahe ng Panginoon
Tumatalakay sa kabutihan Niya sa atin noon at ngayon
Sa saliw ng hiyawan ng mga bata sa gawing likod
Tahimik na nakikinig ang mga mababait na lingkod

Kaunting announcement para sa susunod na itatalaga
Pulong ng kalalakihan, kababaihan, at prayer meeting kina ate Thelma (madalas)
“To God Be The Glory” hudyat na tapos na
Ang isang masayang araw ng pagsamba

“Ayaw ninyo bang umuwi?” Tanong ni pastora
“Pumara na kayo ng tricycle, tanghaling tapat na!”
Makabili ng hito’t tilapia dun kina sister Myra
Upang matugunan, kumakalam na sikmura

Kainan sa Shell, kung makaka-jackpot duon naman tayo sa ‘control’
Yan ang tropang COTR Zaragoza, rock & roll!
Sosyal tayo minsan, hang-out sa Simplicitea (hindi ako nabubusog duon! haha)
‘Pag super gutom na, sa A1 na lang bumibili

Sa bawat birthday na nauuwi sa pyesta
Sa bawat gathering na nauuwi sa foodtrip, di ba?
Sa bawat dedication, na madalas sigida
Hindi ba’t napakasarap na sa Diyos ay sumamba?

Ako’y nag-abroad para sa pamilya
Malayo man sa inyo, sa puso ko kayo ay mahalaga
Nakikibalita, nakiki-chat, nakiki-browse, nakikisaya
Kagalakan kong lumago kayo sa pananampalataya

Darating ang panahong magkakasama tayong muli
Upang hindi na muling magkalayo, tuluyan akong uuwi
Sa ngayo’y patuloy tayong maglingkod ng walang pagtatangi
Sapagkat sa tulong ng Diyos, tayo ay magwawagi

Marami mang bagyo ang dumating sa ating buhay
Saksi ang COTR Zaragoza sa tinatahak ninyong makikitid na tulay
Hangad naming maka-breakthrough kayo sa anumang pagsubok
Sapagkat sa kamay ng Panginoon, doon tayo nilililok

Sa mga taga-COTR Zaragoza, tayo’y mga cool na born again
Na nagsasaya, lumuluha, nadadapa, nananagumpay – every now and then
Isipin ninyo lagi na tayo’y isang malaking pamilya
Na ang tanging nais, sa paglakad sa kabanalan tayo ay lumigaya

Spread the love, spread the GV (Good Vibes) ‘ika nga
Wag kang mahihiyang i-share ang salita Niya
Corny daw sabi nila, pero hindi naman db?
Pagharap kay Lord, itatanong Niya – “ilan ba sila?” (ang na-share’an mo)

Para sa mga naggugwapuhan at naggagandahan sa COTR Zaragoza
Ang Diyos ang patuloy na magpala at magbigay sa atin ng saya
Sa oras ng pagsubok, tagumpay, gawat, anihan at pyesta (Sta.Cruz, Pantoc, Carmen…)
Magmahalan tayo sa isa’t-isa, gaya ng pagmamahal Niya

Purihin ang Diyos sa ating mga buhay!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Posted in Prose & Poetry

Remember when…


Do you remember…

Facebook-20150521-3
Paul Aldaen

…when you greet our world with faint cries. Those tender lips and fragile body, brought happiness all around you. I can’t help but thank God for a healthy baby boy.

… when you first cling to your mommy. You both spent nine months bonding together, and finally you saw her! I remember how it must have been a spectacular moment to finally ‘meet’ your mother! That feeling, such joy, that is fully expressed thru crying and clinging with little fingers, which of course well-appreciated by your mommy.

… when you started learning how to drink milk.

… when you started staring at your mother, recognizing her voice, responding to her call.

… when you started laughing hilariously! You must be a happy baby!

… when you started “making face”. When you learn how to smile, frown, even wearing the ‘blank face’ which you yourself are not aware of!

… when you respond to the call, recognizing that someone is calling your name. Oh, don’t argue about it, your name is beautiful.

… when you stayed awake at night, and sleeping all day long!

… when you started crawling! Good job!

… when you started pronouncing syllables, creating words only you can understand!

There must be lots of ‘first time’ that i have to say i regret not seeing in my own eyes. Last time i checked, you’re still in your mommy’s womb. But remember this my son, before i left, I whispered to you thru her belly that “i love you and will always love you.. i may not always be around but i’m your father and i love you so much!”

Sometimes i feel that I’m playing God in your life. You did not see me (yet) but you know i’m there.

Remember this very well:

When you start learning how to walk, and find out that your daddy’s not around to help you stand, remember that I’m in a land far away building your future.

When you start learning how to speak, and I’m not around to talk with you, remember that I’m talking to God (even right now) to keep you safe and healthy and well. Worry not, your daddy is a good listener. Whenever you feel like talkin’, tell mommy and I’ll find time to talk with you. I promise, i’ll find time.

Patience is a virtue. I promise I won’t be gone for a very long time. Someday, I will finally go home, never to leave you and your mommy again. I will watch you grow, I will guide you, encourage you, help you.. I will be a greatest daddy you’ll ever knew!

Love, daddy.

..

Posted in Polaris' Place of Solitude, Prose & Poetry, Samu't-sari

Mind Illustrated…


-Pendulum
to and fro, so it goes
as clock ticks, with distinct noise
on this sleepless night, i’m missin’ you most
’tis this restless mind, i can’t stop or pause
now i’m beginning to wander again…

-Flood
before i knew it, i’m being carried away
away from this realm, into higher heights,
before i can find a word to say,
everything’s been washed away…nowhere in sight.

-Web
oh, shallow mind, here you go again..

-Soda
Cold…with spirit…

-dot