Posted in Family

Maligayang Kaarawan Tatay


Note: This post is roughly translated to English for non-tagalog viewers, if there’s any πŸ™‚

Sa aming tatay na linggo-linggo nag uuwi ng chico, mansanas, at orange nung maliliit pa kami (nag work sa manila,lingguhan ang uwi,minsan pagitan isang linggo). To our father who’d weekly brought home box of chico, apple, and orange fruit while we were young (he’s working in Manila, going home in a weekly/biweekly basis)


Sa ‘Saturn’ robot na niregalo sa akin nung 7th bday ko (ung robot may TV sa dibdib) apatnaraan daw un eka (mahal na un way back 1990). For ‘Saturn’ robot you gave as a gift for my 7th b’day ~the kind of robot with TV in front. I bet that was 400pesos (it was expensive already way back 1990).

Sa pagbili natin ng pandesal 5:30am tuwing linggo, pasan pasan mo ko. Palagi ko tinatanong sa yo ung malaking kabibe malapit kina dysico πŸ™‚ Pilit kong sinasabi na bato yun, kabibe yun kamo hehe. For every morning stroll at 5:30am to buy hot bread. I always argue with you that the huge seashell is a rock, in which you always rebut with a claim that ‘that’ is actually a shell.

Sa panonood namin ng sine, dalawa lang kami, taz kumain ng lomi after. Natatandaan ko walang lomi sa Frankbelle’s (restobar) that time kasi may binaril na pulis, kaya sa iba na lang tayo bumili. For watching in cinema, just the two of us, followed by eating ‘lomi’ (a local noodles delicacy). I remember we were not able to buy on Frankbelle’s Restaurant because a policeman was gunned down that night.

Ako Sa Kaliwa(Me on the Left), anak ko naman yang nasa kanan (My son on the Right)

Sa paglagay sa wallet mo ng larawan ko nung grade six ako, hanggang ngayon nasa wallet mo yan sigurado ako. Ramdan ko ang halaga sa yo nian. Gwapo din ako dyan gaya mo. Sabi ng anak ko mas gwapo daw sya sa akin. Sabi ko rin sa yo mas gwapo ako, pero parang naririnig kong sinasabi mong “ako pa rin ang original!” Ipagpapatuloy ng apo mo ang debateng yan haha! For keeping my elementary graduation photo in your wallet at all times, I’m sure until now you’re still keeping it. I know how valuable it is to you. I’m also handsome on that photo, just like you – i keep saying. My son claims that he’s more handsome than me. I also say the same remarks to you. Then you declare: “I’m still the original!” Your grandson will continue that debate!

Sa pagpasok sa akin sa construction nung grade 6 ako, sa sibuyasan, sa pagpapasuot ng safety shoes nung first yr pa ako para magselyo sa LPG sa 10-wheeler truck (halos 600+ yata tangke un!) sarap ng byahe natin sa Pampanga. Sa paggawa natin ng UP Baguio annex building nung college ako. Ang nakikita ko lang ay sarap ng experience at sweldo. Nde ko namamalayan na paraan mo yun para magsumikap ako, salamat sa pagpapaintindi sa akin na hindi madali ang mamuhay sa mundo. Invaluable lesson ito. For having me work as a laborer in a contruction projects when I was in Grade 6, on transporting sacks of onions, for having me wear a safety shoes on my First Year High School to seal LPG tanks being refilled and loaded on a 10-wheeler truck (approx. 600+ tanks, i bet!), we had exciting early morning rides en route Pampanga. For our construction of UP Baguio Annex Building when I was in college. My focus that time is the thrill of experience and monies, I’m not aware that it’s your way of teaching me how to persevere in life, thank you for allowing me to realize that it’s not easy to live in this world. Such invaluable lesson.

Yung pagyakap mo nung grumadweyt ako ng hayskul. Ganun yung yakap mo kapag lasing ka hehe, la kang sinasabi basta yakap mo lang ako. Ganun din ang yakap mo nung hinatid nio ako sa airport minsan. Ngayong tatay na rin ako tsaka ko naramdaman ang kahulugan nun – kapag yakap ko na ang anak ko. Salamat. Your embrace when I graduated in high school.. The same embrace when you’re drunk hehe. You never say a word… just embrace. That’s the same embrace when you drove me to the airport once. Now that I’m also a father had I felt it’s meaning – when I’m hugging my son. Thank you.

Sa pagsasabi na “okey lang yun anak” nung natutulala ako pagkatapos akong mahold up sa del pilar extension. For the word of assurance saying “It’ll be ok, son” when I was on state of shock after an unfortunate hold-up experience in del pilar extension (a narrow street couple of blocks away from our vicinity).

Sa pagdalaw nio ni dandan sa amin nung bagyong Santi para kamustahin ang aming kalagayan. Wala kasi kuryente at celfone comm nuon. For visiting with Dandan (my younger brother) our place when we were devastated by typhoon Santi to be assured that we’re safe. Electrical power is down that time, so is phone communication.

Sa patuloy na pagbibigay sa akin ng lakas ng loob. Ikaw ang nakakadama ng mga pinagdaraanan ko na pilit kong itinatago tuwing magkakausap tayo. Sabi mo ngumiti lang ako at ayaw mong makita akong nalulungkot. For continuously giving me courage. You always feel when I’m having rough days which I unsuccesfully hide From you everytime we talk. You told me to just smile, and you don’t want to see me sad.

Salamat tay sa lahat ng sakripisyo, paggabay, at pagmamahal. Narito kami sa aming kalagayan dahil sa paghubog ninyo sa amin. Thank you father for all your sacrifices, guidance, and love. We’re in our present stature because of your way of molding on each one of us.

Mahal na mahal kita. Mahal na mahal ka naming magkakapatid, kasama si nanay. Ang pamilyang binubuo ko ay naaayon sa simpleng pamilyang nakagisnan ko. Dalangin ko ang kalusugan at tagumpay sa bawat araw. I love you. I love you with my siblings, with mom. The family I’m building is patterned to simple family I’d grown with. I pray for your health and success each day.

Posted in Family, Let's Celebrate!, Reflections

Turning 36


Today i turned 36. It’s just a number, what made this day significant is that lot of people expressed their heart’s contents which are genuinely tear-jerky. Your greetings melt my heart.

Being away from my family amplified the longingness. My wife asked me about my wish. Well, just like every family man would wish, I wish I’ll be home. But it’s not that easy. Nonetheless, I found comfort in appreciating thoughtful people who greeted me. You have no idea how happy I am right now.

Family

To my wife who always stood by my side in every season – I love you. Thank you for understanding me in my time of weakness and stubbornness. May the Lord grant you you heart’s desires. Salamat sa pagtyatyaga. I love you always. For my son, thank you sa greet! Pakabait palagi!

To my parents, thanks for all your hardships and dedication raising me up. Ivhope I made you proud one way or another.

For my siblings, thank you for the greetings. I wish I can spend more time with you all.

Church

To Church on the Rock family, thank you for your faithfulness year in and year out. Together, we grow in faith.

To Jesus Christ the Living God, thank you for welcoming me back with arms wide open. Special thanks to Pastor Francis for the prayer.

Colleagues

Aside from church, Fugro is my next home here in Qatar. Thank you for the friendship and support.

TFIOB (The Fault In Our Blogs) community

Ang kalipunan ng mga makakatang amateurs (pro yung iba #aysanstics) pinanday ng panahon. Thank you for the greetings. Thank you for making this boring virtual world of introvert writing so exciting.Β 

THANK YOU ALL GUYS FOR SHARING WITH MY HAPPINESS!

*capslock para intensed πŸ˜€

——

These are the people i owe a cup of coffee with πŸ˜‚ *i’m just kiddin’ as they specifically mentioned “pakape ka naman!” Our alter-greet i supposed πŸ˜„

Colleagues: Ferdy, Ealvin and friends, Industrial with friends..

Church: Sid, jeffrey, RJ, manang erlyn, sis golda, kathleen, and friends πŸ˜€

Posted in Family, Reflections

Life as we know it


When life turn its clock on your favor, you can’t help but be grateful of each sweet opportunity in the table. Truly the end will justify the pain it took to get you here where you want to be. Allow me to share with you God’s plan unveiling right before my eyes.

Character development

Gone are the days when I’m seeking my purpose and identity. As stated in the last verse of the preacher, we’ve got to love God and fear His commandments. This is the entire duty of men. I can live with that. As God’s love strenghtens me in season and out of season, so is the realization that all things work together purposely (matt.8:28). Contrary to a notion (in which I believe) that life is cruel, it seems that all forces of elements are working in my favor. Being an overthinker, it’s my constant worry of regretting living the life I shouldn’t had, or missed the life God designed me to live. God is so keen to remind me about worrying. I can say with a smile in my face that this life is what God designed me to live (if I’m not mistaken haha). I learned not to dwell in my past. Inasmuch as I desire to connect with those who once been my close buddies in my early twenties, I realized that I have to let them go – they’re not coming back. This is one of the concept in life that is not meant to be understood, but to be accepted. Instead, I learned to focus my energy in new acquaintances. Living the present. If buddies from my early years connect with me, I’ll welcome them with arms wide open.

Family

Our siblings came into maturity of our relationship wherein we set aside our differences (it’s not easy) and seize the moment together as time and commitments permit. There are times when major issues need to be mutually agreed to avoid potential conflicts – we don’t want any drama, been there, done that. I’m investing to have quality time with my parents and siblings. If there’s a positive trait in me, I can say it’s the persistency. I’ll keep pounding in to connect, gonna wear down the walls eventually.

There’s always room for improvement with regards to my relationship with my wife. In our seven years of marriage, much more to learn and to live with. I can’t see myself living my life apart from my wife and son. I hate the standard of living our society is injecting in our mindset. Infidelity and insecurities are words I don’t want to associate in our marriage. The norms nowadays are not normal at all! As for me, I chose to set my full affection and focus with my wife and son. The beauty of it is that it’s never enough, but we can enjoy what life has to offer. It’s like steadfast love of the Lord, never ceases. They are new every morning (quoted from Don Moen’s song).

Workplace

When it rain, it pours. My hardwork (coupled with smart move of staying low profile hehe) finally paid off, details below:

  • Recipient of employee of the year twice (2008,2017)
  • Transferred to sister company, new working environment
  • My salary increased. An answered prayer.
  • As a bonus, our company awarded me a brand new iPad as a prize to the contest I participated. Yey!

It’s a wise saying that behind every man’s success is a woman. Fully agree on this. While I’m busy in the corporate world, my wife is filling in her prayer list and crossing out answered prayers with thanksgiving. Happy wife, happy life indeed.

Thank you for sharing with my happiness.

Posted in Family

Sharing with my Son’s Happiness some 7k+ Distance Away


My sonΒ just turned 4 this year. Being away from my family as an expat, I took comfort on sharing with his happiness the best that I can – thru webchat.

See below how far away we are from each other πŸ˜…

image

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You were very young back then

 

And of course I posted online thru facebook, which garnered hundred reactions. For someone who seldom communicate in facebook, it’s a viral post for me haha.

image

Roughly translated:

I always whisper to you everytime we part ways, few hours before I fly to Qatar, for you to be a good boy always, and keep loving mom. I knew you don’t understand these yet, nonetheless, I’m happy leaving these messages to you. I also keep saying that daddy loves you so much.

Son, happy birthday! I may not always be around on important days of your life like this, always remember that there’s one daddy far away feeling homesicked haha.Β When I go home, I’ll bring lots of egg surprise, water baloons, out-of-towns, and of course we will indulge into eating. I missed feasting with you. Enjoy your birthday son, always pray, kiss mommy for me.

Thank you for sharing with my happiness.

 

Posted in Family

Cry Me A River


For the past few days, I feel emotionally vulnerable. I knew homesickness is kicking again. It’ll be a matter of time before I snap and hug my cold pillow to sleep – soaking with tears. Tonight, it just happened.

I’m watching youtube videos when I stumbled into a momshie’s channel (American Mom if I’m not mistaken, I’ll paste the link, just have little time to edit at the moment). She was requested to watch jollibee commercials specially made for valentines day (I think it was aired 3 years ago and I cried a lot the first time I watched).

American Mum Channel

I watched one more channel, and emotions continue to flow.

Kim Enson

Lying on my bed in the corner of our room (I’m sharing with one of my colleague), I have to cry silent tears realizing what I have missing way back home. Watching my wife sleeping silently beside me, waking her up with my embrace, fetching my son to school, playing with him and be a dad spending quality time with each other, guide him as he grow, praying and serving God together as one family, travel together, dreaming with my wife about our son’s future… These are just few moments I can think of that we’re being deprived of.

One day, all the power of the universe will transpire so I can pursue my own Personal Legend (the Alchemist) πŸ™‚

Posted in Family

Coping up with Homesickness


Tell me a person who can honestly say that he/she had overcome homesickness, and I will be needing very badly his/her advice.

There will come a time when tears will just roll down your cheeks without you noticing it, and you’ll feel the pain upon realizing it. Homesickness attack – it is definitely real.

I am a believer of not resisting emotions, to overcome these. I’ve learned that these kind of emotions are meant to stay. You have to feel it. I guess to overcome it, you have to get rid of the factor(s) that triggers. For this respect, I need to go home to eliminate homesickness. This goes with the art of moving on. You have to fill the void. You have to accept the reality of the situation and go on with your life. I’m no expert in love, I broke someone’s heart the first time in the past and live with the pain that brought with it for some time. I eventually moved on but it’s a tough battle to overcome.. it’s a rock-bottom, so to speak.

Back in the day, I knew deep inside I’ve got to find my way out of the setback I am into. Acceptance is the key, that’s what worked in me. I don’t know with you, might’ve have something in your sleeve, care to share?

Going back to homesickness (*wink*), be glad you feel that way. It means you are well-loved, and the emotional attachment is tight. Don’t resist it, acknowledge it instead, and then find a way to keep in touch. It will not extinguish homesickness, but love will work it’s way in your heart and with the other end’s heart. Before you knew it, the beauty of love will know no limits. But of course, don’t talk about money, silly you πŸ™‚

Posted in Family

Egg-Hunting


The moment when you feel so happy being with your loved ones, then it’s about time to part ways because well, obviously have to work.

This geographical separation isn’t ideal. You’ve got to have such mental toughness and tender heart to weather the storm. If there’s one lesson I’ve learned is that I can’t do it by myself. I need my wife to support me all the way. I am solid within but without her by my side, I’ll snap and crumble in no time.

I’m ready for another ride. However, I have to help my son face this separation as light as possible. At 3 years of age, he is well-attached to me. After a year of longingness, i will never pass an opportunity to make him feel that he indeed has a father. So I promised him that I will go to far land called Qatar to buy him surprise eggs, lots of those. Well, it’s something to look forward to! So everytime they pray at night, he adds ‘ingatan Mo po si daddy na nasa malayo…na bibili ng surprise eggs.’ [(Lord), take care of daddy, he will buy surprise eggs]. My heart breaks of the thought of being away from ’em, and is being gently touched upon hearing these words from my son.

Don’t worry son. Daddy is in the business of hunting as much as surprise eggs i could find πŸ™‚

Check out his prayer πŸ™‚

Posted in Family, Polaris' Place of Solitude

Timetable


My boss felt sorry for me. He is saddened by the idea of me staying away wth my wife and son to work. He asked me how long I intend to continue this setup. I replied “two years,” doubtfully.

It’s never easy to be away from your family. One of my life’s regret is not finishing my studies. I should have been in a better position. Another is failing to set aside savings/investments while I was still single. I mean I can continue my studies, but there’s more important on my priority list rather than going back to school, or saving. It’s easy to say that everything is possible, but when you are confronted with real factors, then that’s another story. 

As of now, I am not happy pushing papers without an opportunity to climb to a corporate ladder. Sad to say, I’m working for each paycheck. There are times I hate to be in a position where I am. I even complain to God, which I should not. But impatience get into my nerve. I am a dedicated employee with no other thought but to serve the company I am employed as my way of showing gratitude for providing foods on my family’s table. I sometimes grew tired of the loop I’m in. I need a break.

This too, shall pass.

Posted in Family

Dad’s Journey


Every journey is never easy. It takes more than a desire to move forward. Drive, passion, dedication, name it. Bottom line is, you’ve got to have that to separate yourself from merely an enthusiast. 

My journey as dad started one year after quitting my day job. Being an expat, I have to give up my job abroad to make baby(ies). Creating a baby is harder than I thought! Especially, we’re racing against time. She then conceived, prayer works, indeed.

We are grateful for God’s provisions throughout the next nine months. She did not experienced morning sickness, spotting, and even labor pain (CS #kaway-kaway). God always give financial provisions everytime she have appointment with her OB. As in my case, I’m struggling to keep my computer shop open. 

As the day of giving birth is fast approaching, I am thinking of ways to provide for my family. I can tell I’ll be a good dad. I don’t want to wake up one day without a food for my family. I must think, and act the earliest. I chose not to tell my wife of my thoughts. She’s carrying heavy enough (literally) to get worried.

One day, we’ve been invited by our former colleagues for their wedding. I then decided to ask them a possibility to come back. Never left a bad record, they assured me that i can come back. Now, that’s a ray of sunlight πŸ™‚

Ironic as I thought, I left my job because of baby, and for that same reason I’ll return. 

Running out of option and time, I decided to speak with my wife to discuss my intentions. We agreed to pray for it, and wait for God’s answer. I’ll give it a shot, and if our company decided to have me back, that’s a sign that it’s God’s will. He will not allow anyway if it’s not for us. That’s faith in action πŸ™‚
 

I can say, I cried…bitterly. The pain of leaving my loving wife with unborn son breaks me. My only consolation is the realization that it’s harder to leave my son after seeing him, and giving birth is costly! These justify the pain that it takes.

That’s my first sacrifice as a dad, way to go!

Long-distance relationship with your spouse is one thing, with your son/daughter is another.

I went home for annual leave on my son’s 1st birthday. It’s the first time I laid my eyes to him, to hold him in my arms, to tell him that his virtual dad actually exists πŸ™‚ That experience added to my ever-colorful life. God must’ve favored me in all ways imaginable. He can allow me to be united always with my wife and son. He can make it happen, He is God. But He didn’t, because He wants me to experience how it feels to be away from my son, and the joy of uniting with him. I’ve been reminded of the parable of a prodigal son. I can relate. If I have an advise to give to younger generation, I will tell them to speak with their parents especially when they are away from each other i.e. expat. Every opportunity to have a glimpse of my son brings joy to my heart. I knew at times my wife is getting annoyed but she understands. 

Things are getting more exciting when my son started to talk. Inasmuch as it brought joy, so my heart was wrenched when it’s about time to leave. I knew it’s not the setup God wants us to live – being far away from each other.

I am aware that my journey as a dad is far from getting over. I enjoy every moment. 

I can talk endlessly about a father’s love. It’s a blend of sacrifice, joy, longingness, and a little bit of bravery on accepting the fact that we cannot move each and every wall. We can for now rest our back against it. And find a way to climb o’er it.

Posted in Family, Pilipinas

A grateful father


 

As me and my wife are conversing with my flight bound to abu dhabi, my son did not pay attention to me. He’s busy playing with his toy jollibee.

Before retiring to bed, his mom is training him to pray. My safety here abroad is one on his prayer list.

Little did we know, Aldaen is listening intently with our conversation. He don’t want to talk to me, but he’s all-eared. His mom haven’ t told him yet about my flight.

The Prayer

Roughly translated: “Jesus, salamat po, sa pag-iingat kay tito, kay daddy na pupunta sa Abu Dhabi, Amen.”

Truly a tear-jerking prayer.

Jesus’ heart is close to children. Thank You Lord.