Minutes,…hours… this once excited journey is now filled with grief. This heart did not seek sympathy from anyone. This soul drifting in the realm of the unworthy longs nothing but peace. This deafening silence is screaming so hard that it redefines my inner identity.
Enjoyment is a temporary experience to hide/conceal the pains and sufferings i am harboring inside of me. The bittersalty tears of sorrows and low spirit demoralize me. When the issue of neglect in communicating shuns me from embracing peace and quietness, then i know something is wrong with me. When i crack a joke turned out to be an insult, then it backfires to me, sending awkward feeling of embarassment and guilt. When my maturity is being challenged with authority, then i will be intimidated. When all i am now is far from what i am showing to people, then i am deceiving myself. When i’m being pressured by needs and responsibilities, then i know i can’t afford to slow down. When my problems keep on accumulating, i am thinking of giving up. What’s the point of fighting? In the end i am an immatured, stupid guy sitting in the corner watching the clock turns the time into a brand new day. No identity, no consistency, no breakthrough!