There comes a time in my life when i feel i am so useless.. As if everything i am laboring for and investing for came to ashes. You know this kind of “back-to-zero” scenario that hey, i have to start from the scratch. But then again, Jesus assured me that I’m more than useless.. (special thanks to Relient K for their song.. indeed they felt the same way i’d felt).
When frustrations are piling up, and i’m running into circles, and i’m stuck, trapped into a loop that there’s no way out. I remember the theory of Charles W. Mills for the personal issues that have a significant impact to a society. Say, a shooting spree.. it’s a personal issue (i.e. bullying, racial discrimination..etc..) that once carrying inside of a person, and when he can’t contain it anymore, he will create an action that have direct impact to his community. That’s once a personal issue, and now a community problem.
The thing is, i want this personal issue to settle within me and find a solution, a concrete solution. The idea is that when other people feel the same way i did, i can advise them for a plausible, workable solution. It might work with them, it might not, but that’s what advise is intended for for the first place. In life, we learn mistakes in two ways: first, mistakes of our forefathers, and second, our mistake. We are not doomed to make the same mistake again! (that’s the essence of learning)
Anyhow, whatever it is, i know there’s a perfect time for me. He’s not finished with me yet.